(Editor's Note: This story is part of Club Industry's series on diversity, equity and inclusion. To see more articles in this series, go here.)
I have always been really active dancing and playing every sport possible since I can remember. I love movement and exercise. I’ve spent 10 years in the fitness industry in the United Kingdom and the United States and have had a variety of roles from teaching, to opening and running studios, to speaking at events, to head of fitness, to master trainer and mentor, to brand ambassador.
But no matter how accomplished I am, I still have to fight for equal pay to my white counterparts. I have to push to have companies see that I deserve the same benefits as my white counterparts. I am constantly going above and beyond to prove how invaluable I am, and then once my value is recognized, being exploited and tokenized. I speak up, write articles and have my words whitewashed and disregarded.
Whenever I've experienced racism within the company and reported it, I have been told how the person who said something racist or committed a racist act didn't mean it in that way, or how an employee showing a picture of themselves in blackface was just a mistake and doesn’t make them a bad person. What I'm constantly shown is other people’s feelings are more valid than mine, and the instinct is always to protect and defend the racist person and their feelings, not offer support or help to me. Despite expressing that I want companies to do better and take their own initiative, I've had my words ignored even as they have constantly relied upon me to educate everyone about racism because I am the only black employee. It is not my job or that of any other person of color's job to educate.
I am gaslit constantly. On the one hand, I am told that I am too kind, too nice and need to be more assertive, but when I follow through on that, I am met with white tears, which male bosses then appease and label me as aggressive and an angry black woman. These are the same bosses who told me to be more assertive and then tell me I need to learn to be kind and nice.
I opened and ran a studio without support while being bullied and emotionally abused. But despite that, I was able to create a warm, welcoming environment with an exceptionally talented and diverse team. I am so proud of all I have achieved within the industry.
After George Floyd’s murder, I couldn’t dance. I found it so triggering. I unpacked why and realized it was because of the racism I endured from 3 years old in my dance training, especially during ballet. No one explained to me that what I experienced was racism, so I internalized it all. Contrastingly, I could still exercise, even though I was numb and didn’t even feel when my heart rate elevated. As I unpacked why, I realized it was because people always told me that the only reason I was good at sports was because I’m Black. I knew that was racist, but in no way did I find that offensive. I always replied, “Hell yeah. It’s my Trini blood.” To me, that wasn’t an insult. How could it be? It was recognizing my heritage and incredible ancestors. I proceeded to work harder than anyone and win at everything, and I never apologize for it and let them make whatever excuses they wanted.
The one thing I know is that no matter how I am treated, nothing makes me feel more comfortable and in control than when I'm moving my body. If you’ve ever worked out near me or taken my class, you know how much joy exercise, movement and music gives me. When I take a class, I’m that person singing along to myself, being competitive with myself and setting mini goals within the class. I don’t care if you look at me like I’m crazy or judge me; I will be working hard and having fun and using the rest time to dance. I can walk into a gym and be the only person of color in the room, I can be spoken to like an idiot and a child, I can be in an environment clearly not meant for me because all they offer is dry shampoo and hair straighteners, and still I feel so comfortable because I celebrate the privilege of being able to move my body.
Whether or not the fitness/wellness industry is welcoming to me, exercise got me back dancing after a car accident, and I love it. I’m going to keep creating welcoming spaces for myself and others. I will keep being vocal about enjoying movement and it being a celebration not a punishment for food. I won’t feed into diet culture. No matter who you are in my class, I’ll teach you to use your body correctly and get stronger, faster, more powerful.
I am proud that I get to share my passion and knowledge to make other people feel good, strong, confident and comfortable in their bodies. All the adversity I've faced and pushed through hasn't jaded me. I did take a while to recover after the gaslighting and bullying, but I've used how I was treated as a blueprint to make sure I do the complete opposite. I've learned how to advocate for myself and others and make long-lasting change happen. I now ensure that company culture where I work isn't just preached and shown to the public but that it happens internally and from the top down. If that isn’t the case, I advocate for myself and others and help create policies and safeguards to ensure that no one goes through what I went through.
Racism is a huge issue in this industry, but at the end of the day, it was movement that helped me get through racial trauma, and it is movement that you can't cheat, lie or hide from. All of my above experiences show why equity instead of just equality is needed within the industry and inclusivity and accessibility are equally as important because of the incredible healing effect of movement on the body. I've turned my pain to power, and I’m not going to stop speaking up, highlighting issues while suggesting solutions reinforced with research and evidence. I am not going to ask for seats at the table, and as I look back at my career, I haven't. I've created seats and pulled up chairs for others to join me. I'm going to continue to do so. This is a movement not a moment.
BIO
Ianthe Mellors is head of fitness and dance at FitXR as well as a movement specialist, group fitness instructor and professional dancer. Originally from England, she has worked in the fitness industry for more than a decade. Her experience ranges from managing studios, mentoring instructors, running fitness events, creating formats, teaching and everything in between. She’s worked with brands such as Nike, Reebok, ASOS, Adidas and Sweaty Betty.