Cicadas Agree Club Industry Show Keynoter Scott Dikkers of The Onion Is Worth Hearing But Insist They Are Worth Hearing, Too

Scott Dikkers. The Onion

CHICAGO - Anywhere from two to one million (or more) cicadas converged on a nondescript park with a colorful children’s play apparatus somewhere in Chicago to witness Scott Dikkers, co-founder of The Onion, record a video sharing why members of the fitness community should come to the Club Industry Show to hear him offer the keynote presentation at 9 am on Oct. 10 at the Hilton Chicago. (Watch the video below.)

The cicadas buzzed and droned in approval throughout the video, coming to a crescendo when Dikkers noted that he would share in the keynote how to build a loyal fanbase without spending a lot of money. When he added that he would also recount some funny stories, a few of the more skeptical cicadas broke from the buzzing to shout “Prove it.” Dikkers seemed undeterred and continued by holding up his book, “Outrageous Marketing: The Story of The Onion and How to Build a Powerful Brand with No Marketing Budget,” as proof that he is funny enough to get a book published (one of four or one million published books he’s written) unlike any of the cicadas in the park who hadn’t bothered to spend any of their five- to six-week lifespans writing a book, let alone getting one published. 

Dikkers did not invite the cicadas to attend his keynote (which is sponsored by ClassPass), but he did invite you. Register now to attend the Club Industry Show Oct. 9-11 at the Hilton Chicago and hear Dikkers plus more than 85 industry experts share their expertise to help you build a more successful business.

Editors’ Note: Club Industry will be checking to make sure no cicadas will be allowed in the room on the day of the presentation. Also, this blog was written satirically, so any resemblance to reality is solely coincidental except for the fact the Dikkers has written books, that he and 85 industry experts will be speaking at the Club Industry Show, which is being held Oct. 9-11 at the Hilton Chicago. The keynote really is being sponsored by ClassPass. And we really do urge you to register now. (Plus, cicadas really do only live five to six weeks after emerging from the ground, so we doubt any of them would have time to write and publish a book.)


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